Blogger ‘Lyte ;-} Week 6

Melissa Rodriguez

Full disclosure: this post will definitely be underperforming for this week. I took my NCLEX-PN test this morning in Seattle. And of course I’ve been studying pretty much non-stop since class last week. My name is Rebekah Jane Lee and I am now a Licensed Practical Nurse! And it’s a no-brainer of a tradeoff if I lose some  points on this posting. To business!

This has been gestating in my brain since I heard it on NPR’s Radio Diaries last week: http://apps.npr.org/teenage-diaries/#melissa. She's with her two boys in the picture. I suppose one could call it sort of a mini longitudinal study (best possible construction) of several teens that were given tape recorders to haul around for a year. That was sixteen years ago. The same reporter gave them recorders again this last year to see where their lives were now. They were all interesting, but Melissa Rodriguez really caught my attention vis-à-vis the materials for weeks five and six. Let me say at the beginning, she is a very devoted and loving mother and cares deeply about her children. Her greatest desire is to provide them with the love and care she never received.

Her mother gives her two years of motherhood and turns Melissa over to foster care. Consider the items of bonding, attachment and nurturing. She’s bounced through several foster homes before ending up in a group home. One thinks of families as dynamic systems and wonders what developmental mile-markers were missed in Melissa’s middle and adolescent years. She runs away at fifteen and mothers her first of two children at eighteen. In 2013 she talks with her first born Issaiah (now sixteen) and tells how much she wanted someone to love and to love her – so many things to discuss about just that statement and situation. It becomes obvious that he has developmental issues, some of which are ameliorated with time and effort. He currently tests out with an IQ of 79; and I wondered how culturally appropriate that test was for this person. His mom says he can remember how to play and move ahead with his video games, but cannot remember what he reads. More questions; and I wondered about the effectiveness/appropriateness of his special education class and the loss of those years of evenings without parental supervision and guidance.

Poor, fairly uneducated and not finding a lot in the line of work, she turns to stripping (early years); and says it was one of the most empowering things she’s done. She had money, apartment and a car; she was able to go to school (I’m assuming a two year) and finishes. And the strip clubs are behind her. She’s been working for some time now as a customer service representative for what seems like a television cable company. A kind of work she really loves. At the beginning of this last year, her hours were three to midnight. I considered what that meant in terms of nurturing her six and sixteen year old boys, who were in school every day. She does call around six PM to check in on them. On one occasion, her oldest says her youngest doesn't want to eat what was supposed to be for supper. He’s advised to just open a can of Chef Boyardee for the lad. I wondered some more about nutrition, family mealtimes and those dynamic family relationships; oh, and socialization.

She really loves her work and then says something revealing; I solve other people’s problems all day long and when I come home, I just keep on solving more problems problems. When she arrives home at midnight, the television is going full tilt and young Tyrone is asleep in the same room. She says that's what he does because he’s afraid. I wondered again with questions about identity, self-esteem and the socialization values and behaviors; both formal and informal. Melissa states that she depends on her children and that they “…lean…” on each other.  Hmm! Definitely not an authoritarian or authoritative parenting approach; permissive perhaps, at best.

Her diary ends on a somewhat more hopeful parenting note; at work she’s been moved to days, which will enable her to be home in the evening with her children. She is incredibly strong of will, desire and discipline; her teenage camp story of treading water is illustrative. Her extrapolation of that story to life is insightful. What I cannot divine, will it be enough to accomplish her goals for her children. I truly admire and respect her grit and determination; she’s certainly traveled a hard path and overcome so much. I'm not so sure I would have come as far if it was me.

Postscript: This was in the NYT this morning and has relevance re "Tough Guise". Not so sure that change is to significant. The point concerning prosecutions is quite revealing.

RETROREPORT   
Video Library Player:  The Legacy of Tailhook 
Retro Report 
Retro Report: Military sexual assault is not a new phenomenon. A second look at the Tailhook scandal in 1991 reveals what happened then. And what it all means now.