Never had one!
The crisis anticipation factor was definitely aroused by all my friends and
family, but nothing of note ever actually transpired. There was a little
episode of Porsche desire, but it came and went so quickly it barely made
consciousness. It took but a moment’s reflection to conclude “…just what in the
world would you do with that? There isn't a road built around here you could
drive that in the way it was designed to be driven…”
Truth be
told, my life proceeded along such full and interesting paths, I honestly had
little time to reflect on whether I was facing a crisis of age or
accomplishment. That is not to say things were always easy and crystal clear on
this path; they were not; often it was more a crisis per day. But the path was
always interesting, engaging and fulfilling.
There were
often moments of wondering just where my life was headed, but it seems things
pretty much took care of themselves, as long as I paid attention, worked
diligently in the moment and listened to my intuition – a knack that was slow
to develop. Doors closed and doors opened; often requiring courage and
sacrifice to step forward. In retrospect, I’m pleased that I took those steps.
For many
years there was an underlying current of fear; the fear of winding up on the
street, homeless, penniless – an abject failure. A fear that was rooted in an authoritarian
upbringing so structured there were few decisions I was allowed to make. Tack
onto that the oft heard pejorative “…you’ll never amount to anything…” Add into
the sauce of my childhood, the parental ingredients of depression era kids in
want and need; and their own childhood woo – woo made its secretive way into my
subconscious. Took some time to understand myself in light of all that and I’m
grateful for the degree of enlightenment to date. And, well, there was that another thing. So it seems
there really wasn't a great deal of time to have a crisis; perhaps one day I’ll
understand that it was a drawn-out string of crises; but I don’t believe that
will be the case.
I find agreement with Kessler’s
perspective when he states, “…all
people make psychological transitions and adjustments in the course of middle
age; relatively few experience these as catastrophic.” As he states, my
experience also includes divorce, being fired, and serious illness – and the
awareness my birth year was becoming a part of my very distant past. My
appreciation concerning all the turmoil, trouble, achievement and joys, was the
understanding these events and vicissitudes were all a part of “normal” life
experience – and it was my path alone and not comparable to the paths of others
or theirs to mine.
So midlife
crisis? Meh – not so much.
Gallagher’s closer regarding the onset of wisdom
I found to be spot on. One may occasionally considers the prospect of “going
back” in life and re-doing certain parts. ‘Prolly not; the premise is one will
take along the accrued wisdom and apply patches to past situations. The premise
is of course faulty, for I would be just as ignorant as I was the first time
around.
I wouldn't trade where I am now for all the chances in the world to rewind for a re – do.
I definitely find myself aligning with the “environment
– minded” researchers who believe the influence of attitudes, interests and
relationships provide a flexible model of adult development. Reflecting on my
experiences, it is clear they strongly point to development and change that
continually refocuses my understanding and perspectives of life and the world
around me.
Baltes is correct in his assertion that the
brain slows down biologically, as I can attest. But, I do use knowledge and
information differently and more effectively. Exactly how these adaptive strategies
operate, I cannot fathom; I unconsciously somehow rapidly apply experience and
knowledge as situations unfold. And the outcomes often reflect that I am still
learning.
I’ll close with an anecdote that
illustrates the discussion of wisdom. My closest brother was a “back-seater” in
an F-4 Phantom fighter jet. His title was Weapons System Office or WSO –
pronounced wizzo. Or in their vernacular “GIB” – the guy in back. He flew in
the Air National Guard, which has pilots typically much older who still fly. During
combat fighter maneuvering, the crews experience punishing g-forces. The older crews are not physically capable of
keeping up with the maneuvering of the younger pilots. However, the older
pilots will typically out maneuver their younger counterparts because they fly
smarter – with the wisdom of lessons learned.
Hi R!
ReplyDeleteI absoltely love your blogs! They are always so intersting and so insightful! Thank you for sharing! I love that you were saying how for you despite your family and friends having gone through the "midlife crisis" that for you personally you didn't really have that experience. I absolutely loved hearing how even though you wanted a Porsche you desided mentally that it was irrational and that there is no road here to really drive that kind of vehicle. It is so awesome to hear that there are other people out there that seem to be more realistic and logical in their thinking. I hope that when I reach the "midlife crisis" age that I will not really experience it in the form of "major" crisis.
Brandie